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The Guardians love their charges.  Their love stems from a deep, visceral longing for reality.  They long to experience flesh and blood.  To taste, to touch, to smell.  They want to walk and be rained upon, to feel the biting nip of the winter wind.  They want to feel the vibrant euphoria of love, and the bitter pang of loss.  They don’t know it, but they are in “training”.  In the end, when they are ready, when their charge dies, the guardians become the soul of a newly born child; they get to become real.

The beauty in passing through the stages of ghost to life to eternity is to experience the increasing “reality” of each of those worlds.  First, as ghosts; as Guardians.  Next, as real beings.  Finally, as Eldar passes beyond the veil of death at the end of his life, he discovers in eternity that it’s not like the ghostly world of demons and Guardians, but a real, corporate world where his senses are heightened beyond the world of the living.  Love is not just an emotion, but a real thing to be touched, tasted, and embraced with all the senses.  There is no loss; no pain; no longing; no hatred; no hurt; no evil.  The absence of evil is what characterizes the life after death.

The Guardians, as they look into the window of reality wishing for the chance to experience the living senses, have no idea that they will gain that chance one day.  Their feelings are like those of us who are living now:  we have no idea what eternal life will be like; cannot grasp the sensations beyond the physical.  We are only looking in the window.  But oh, like peering into the window of toys on display at the old store during a wintry night at Christmas, we can imagine what it would be like to be inside, playing among the toys.  And one day, we get the chance to go inside.  Led by the hand of the Messiah, we enter in, and find what we’ve been longing for, the essence that fills the emptiness within.  The answer we seek is found, in Eternity, where all knowledge is gained, all questions answered, and all the circles of worlds become one.  Free to move throughout each of the circles now, unfettered by any of the constraints we experienced in those worlds.  Free, real, yet unseen by those who have yet to reach the place we have finally come home to.  Eternal life.  Ahhhh.  At last.

Now that the holidays are drifting away like the snow out my window here in Pittsburgh, it’s time to begin my writing plan.

I am happy to have discovered Pandora Internet Radio, which I listen to when writing on my laptop.  Very inspiring mood setter!  Check it out!

I am continuing to study the craft with the Plot and Structure title of the Write Great Fiction series.

I’ve decided to let my Guardians become the souls of newborn Avanyar and Illuminar one day, and that each group shall have a female and male Guardian, who “love” one another, and become the one true love for each other in their future corporeal life.  This may not make sense to you readers, but you shall see it develop in the story.

That’s all for now.  Back to studying!

James Scott Bell gives offers a great exercise in looking inside oneself, as an attempt to learn not to “write what you know”, but to write “who you are.”  Here’s the result of answering his questions for myself:

• Take a look inside:
  • What do you care most about in the world?
    • Happiness.  Feeling good.  Making people happy.  Family.
  • If you were to write your own obituary, how would you want it to read?
    • He was a kind and thoughtful man.  He cared about people.  He absolutely loved life.  Had many faults, but would laugh at himself.  He made a difference.  He brought a little bit of sunshine into people’s lives.  He was a great writer.  He was one of the smartest people.  He was a pessimist, and he hated that part of himself.  He loved the outdoors.  He loved flyfishing.  He loved Wyoming.  He loved the mountains.  Loved snow.  He was honest.  Tough, but fair.
  • What is your physical appearance?  How do you feel about it?  How does it affect you?
    • There’s always that 20 lbs. I’m trying to lose.  My hairline has receded into the distant past. What hair I have is turning gray, I’m losing my hearing, and I have arthritis in the middle toe of my left foot.   I don’t like my appearance when I look in the mirror.  I see just a plain, boring guy.
  • What do you fear most?
    • Losing a child.  Growing old.  Being too feeble to enjoy life anymore.
  • What are your major strengths of character?
    • Honesty.  Determination.  Loyalty.
  • What are your major flaws?
    • Short temper.  Pessimist.  Negative person.  Stubbornness.
  • What are you good at?  What do you wish you were good at?
    • I am good at flying.  Good at “figuring out things.”  Good at computer stuff.  Good with trivia.  Good at fishing.  Good at love.  I wish I was good at budgeting my time.  I wish I could stop procrastinating about writing.
  • If you could do one thing and know that you would be successful, what would you do?
    • Write.
  • What are three events from your childhood that helped shape you into the person you are today?
    • 1.  Summer camping in Tenderfoot inspired a love of flyfishing and the mountains.
    • 2.  Growing up around the Apollo moon missions gave me a love of Science and Science Fiction.
    • 3.  Being given the assignment of reading “The Hobbit”, and then finding a dusty old hardback copy of “The Lord of the Rings” and discovering a whole world of the characters and places I had discovered in J.R.R. Tolkein’s wonderful prose.
  • What are some of your annoying habits?
    • I can’t stop lecturing, even after I’ve made my point.
    • I see the “bad” in everything.
    • I am a perfectionist.
  • What secret in your life do you hope is never revealed?
    • ??? I can’t write that here!
  • What is your philosophy of life?
    • Much like that of Conan the Barbarian’s.  We are born, we lead a hard life, grasping for what happiness we can find in a world where much is unfair, and unhappy.  In the end, we die, going from a “training ground” to eternal happiness in a place where there is no more hurt, no more tears, no more pain… only love.

Illuminar Messiah

My story is about Brinn, an immortal, who has become separated from his people.  He is the last of his kind left in the land.  He longs to be with his kind, and unable to reach them, comes to hate his immortality.  He longs for nothing more than to die.  He tries to kill himself but can’t.  He just wants the endless days and nights to stop.

And there’s Eldar.  He watches the demons come for his mother’s soul as she dies.  He can see the spirit world.  He is so afraid of death, of the darkness that follows.  He longs to find a way to escape it, to find a way to become immortal.  He wishes he could be one of the illuminar.

The two find each other, and together, while saving their worlds, help each other to find the release they are searching for.

Studying a book on plot and structure and listening to James Horner’s “Casper’s Lullaby”.  I am fascinated by ghosts.  My character can see the spirit world.  I listen to the music and picture the sad plight of spirits trying to communicate with the living.  What message do they have?  What do they need to tell?  How lonely it must be to be at the window into the living, looking in, but unable to go back, to touch, smell, taste, or experience that world again.  How sad.  I long to help them.  The ghosts.

Today is the day I begin seriously writing.  Today I begin seriously studying and learning the craft.

When readers read my novels I want them to feel warm, to feel good, to breathe deeply, to sigh, and to feel renewed with hope to tackle the difficulties in life ahead.  I want them to feel refreshed.  I want them to be in love with the characters; to want to rush out and find the next novel so they can continue to partake of the character’s lives.  I want them to feel excited, knowing difficulty can be overcome.  I want them to feel empowered; to feel salvation; to feel they can champion over death.  I don’t want them to fear getting old anymore, but instead to feel excited, knowing that beyond death’s door lay a world one can only imagine… a world of joy, of beauty, of love, of all the good things in life wrapped up in a tidy bundle that you can never lose.  I want them to feel happy; to feel love.  I want them to smile, and for it to be the kind of smile that remains long after the book is put down.  I want my book to become a treasure for them; a treasure they give to their children; a story they dream about sharing with their children, eagerly anticipating the day the kids are old enough to be exposed to the wondrous world within my novel.  I want it to be a book that is worn, the pages turning color from long use; a book that they cherish enough to want to read over and over again, like a book they eagerly anticipate reading in an Adirondack chair on the beach at the start of a long summer vacation or the book they choose to nestle with into a soft, overstuffed leather chair by a huge blazing hearth, content to read by a soft light late into the night.

To me, novels are about escaping the mundane world around us and experiencing the joys, laughs, loves, fear, conflict, hatred, and anger; the world of emotions, boiled down and concentrated into tangible things we can feel, taste, breathe, hear, see, and smell.  Novels are like a deep well that we are drawn to, that we step near to, our breath short with anticipation.  We peer down in, and then step forward and fall in, dropping down into a world from which we don’t want to leave.  Novels are like jewels that bring a bright joy to our world and, like soft warm blankets, envelop and surround us, comforting us while letting us experience the raw range of emotions in a safe, secure way.  They let us explore worlds beyond what we dare experience in real life.